She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
