Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
