You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
