Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
