Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize