Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize
