So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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