yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
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