I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
