he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
