You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
