u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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