Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
my shit smells like andre
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
