oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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