Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I think my moral compass just broke
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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