White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Less talking, more tequila
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
