and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize