I CAN MOONWALK!
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
How external is "for external use only"?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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