we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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