Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
