Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
