yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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