if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize