if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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