I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
