while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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