Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
