fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
