that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
