mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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