im about as happy as oj after his trial
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
sex in a hospital.. check
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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