I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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