Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
