When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
This is the high leading the old right now
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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