My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
