We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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