Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
