I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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