i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize