OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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