3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
