hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
