I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
