In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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