Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
