I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
