Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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