Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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