wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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