...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
