In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
