STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
3pm strippers are depressing
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
