No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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