i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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