trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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