I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
