i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
