This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
