Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
