Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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