To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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