dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Randomize