yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
