I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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