Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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