In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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