I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
