Yo dont text me then not text me
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
