Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
