Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
