At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
