SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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