my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
