They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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