i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
