Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
