Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
