This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
