I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
